Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
