Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
What's dad's email?
[email protected]
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
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