if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
