You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
