I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
