I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
There are leaves in my underwear?
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