i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
