I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Nicole vs. Life
well you can't waste a boner
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Randomize
