Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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