I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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