he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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