Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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