We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
