She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
The air was thick with penises
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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