The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
