he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Randomize
