are you still at the devil's house?
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
