Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Randomize
