I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
