And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
