it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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