Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
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