guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Randomize
