Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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