The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
