Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
sarcasm needs its own font
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
