Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Randomize
