I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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