your room smells of hookers.
And success
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Randomize
