We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
