Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
