Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
