Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
