I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
farters have to be the big spoon...
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I just had sex on a roof
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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