i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
How does one acquire holy water?
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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