chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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