Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
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