you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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