the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
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