Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
