What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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