I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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