Who did Billy Mays play for?
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
