Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
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