theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
