Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
