covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
