and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
