so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
