she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
