idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
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